This is Mommie Pops

As long as I can remember (and I’m 58 yrs old now), my grandmother, Gladys Isabel Seibel (maiden name) and I have been the greatest of friends. Although I didn’t end up with her singing voice or her ability to play multiple musical instruments or her incredible artistic talent in oil painting, we were always like two peas in a pod when we were together – acting zany, always laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

My grandmother lived in a beautiful home in northern California with her 2nd husband (Grandpa Jack). Together they enjoyed a wonderful life filled with love, travel, charity work, and many friends. When Jack passed away, Mommie Pops chose to stay in the Bay area where she had spent so many happy years.

For a few years thereafter my father, Wes, and his wife, Angel, would split their time between their home in Albuquerque, NM and San Jose, CA with Mommie Pops. She had a few health issues arise – arthritis in her fingers and knees, carpal tunnel syndrome (all that piano playing and painting), cataracts in both eyes (she turned her eyepatch into a daisy), some high blood pressure, a fairly severe stomach sensitivity. She always bounced back and went about her flurry of life as quickly as she could get out of bed.

Unfortunately, things changed very quickly and without any real warning in 2004 after she tripped and fell on some concrete steps outside an event she was attending. She began having serious issues with both her knees, including swelling, stiffness, and pain that prevented her walking. Bilateral knee arthroplasty was scheduled a few days before Thanksgiving. Dad and Angel went to stay with Mommie Pops and help her through recovery and physical therapy.

About three weeks after her surgery I went north for a visit. It was apparent my dad wasn’t well and Angel was concerned. After a few days with no improvement, I sent my dad home to get checked out by his doctor. I stayed with Mommie Pops until her sister could hop over from Lodi, CA a few days later. I had to be back in Los Angeles myself to schedule a repeat spinal fusion of vertebrae L4-S1 (more on that and my dad in another post soon).

News from Albuquerque wasn’t good. Dad had Stage IV metastatic bladder cancer. He was diagnosed in early February, 2005 and by early May he was gone. My dad asked two things of me before he passed. First, do what I could to make sure Angel was all right. Second, look after his mom. Boom. Life changer.

And that’s what I’ve done ever since. Future blog entries will detail the immediate changes, the long-term decisions, the bargaining, the acute/chronic illnesses, doctors, hospitals, nursing home care, home health care, and the many, many (did I say many?) lessons learned. I have the full support and approval of Mommie Pops to write about our experiences, both the good and the bad. She’s agreed I can share her medical information and any pictures that might help others on their own caregiving journey.

In fact, she’s a little bit excited to be immortalized through this blog. She’s hoping I’ll throw in some pictures and stories of her earlier life and, trust me, there’s a lot of them. And, well, how do you say “No” to a 103 years young grandmother when she’s smiling at you with a devilish gleam in her eye? Fact is, you don’t.

So, check back real soon. Now that you know how our saga began we can start getting into Healthcare Management, Eldercare, Medicare and other payment methods, Laws, Practical Advice, Tips, Emotional Support, Self-Care, Multi-Generational Caregivers, Ageing In Place, Pets, Vacation Options with the Elderly and Disabled….there is an unending list and a never-ending need.

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Every Caregiver’s Journey Is Unique

The one path I truly never contemplated taking was that of becoming a caregiver. Not when I took care of my youngest brother with severe intellectual disabilities (not what they called it in the 60s and 70s) and epilepsy until he turned 14; not when my mother’s chemotherapy for uterine cancer left her weak and unable to care for herself at age 43 (and which ultimately failed the strongest woman I’ve ever known); and not when my father was diagnosed with Stage IV bladder cancer and needed someone to help him (never before had I ever heard the words “I need help” from him) to the End at age 67.

No, none of those times did I contemplate putting all the various makings of my life – education, profession, marriage, parent, days, evenings, weekends, vacations, hobbies, passions, hopes, dreams, plans – either on hold or put away for an unknown quantity of time.

And, although I had earned what I thought was a fair amount of experience and knowledge, the entire sum of those few years provided me with perhaps only 1/100th of the knowledge, experience, patience, adaptability, creativity, and strength I would need for the first time I actually signed on for stewardship of a loved one….my lovable, fun-loving, eccentric, smart, naive, generous, fashionable, talented, artistic, world-travelling grandmother, Mommie Pops (don’t blame me for that name, blame my oldest cousin).

My journey with caring for my grandmother began in early 2005. She was 89 years old. Doing the math, yep, she’s 103 years “young” now and the road we’re travelling has been filled with bends, dips, climbs, pitfalls, and some smooth stretches of highway along the way.

My purpose for beginning this blog is to share some of the lessons I’ve learned (and continue learning) in caring for the matriarch of my family, some good practical knowledge I’ve gained in varied health issues, conditions, and information that I believe all caregivers can use to their and their loved one’s benefit.

So, please come back and visit again. I’m only just beginning to get started. Better yet, subscribe below to get notified of my next post –

Peace, joy, love, and compassion to you all.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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